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A Single Ray of Light in the Depth of Despair
By the way—
after reading my profile above,
you might have gotten the impression
that I’ve always walked a “life of light.”
But the reality is completely the opposite.
My life was covered in mud,
again and again lost in darkness and despair,
but kept searching for the light with tears—
Ever since I can remember—
since I was three years old—
life has been a place
to endure pain.
It was always that way.
To live was to bear suffering—
in body and in mind.
From the age of ten to thirteen,
I lived in New York City.
I delivered newspapers before dawn,
when the streets were frozen and silent.
Even when I was sick,
I rode through the icy dark,
my breath white in the winter air.
Under the elevated tracks,
in that dim delivery office smelling of ink and dust,
I sometimes met the children of immigrants—
kids like me,
trying to find warmth
in a city that never seemed to notice us.
Destroying My Own Body to Forget the Pain of Living
Two years after returning to Japan,
I entered high school.
It was the kind of school
for the sons of privilege.
I was utterly out of place.
And every morning,
pressed into the crowded train,
I despaired of the world I saw.
At sixteen,
life meant enduring
the urge to die.
So I began destroying my own body,
trying to forget the pain of living.
I cut my wrists,
overdosed on pills—
until my body was falling apart.
I dropped out of two schools,
ran away from home,
and eventually became homeless.
The World Disappeared in the Light
Then, one day,
something happened.
While performing music,
the whole world dissolved into light.
It happened twice.
I had no faith,
no interest in religion—
yet suddenly I wondered,
“Is enlightenment something like this?”
That single moment
changed the direction of my life.
The will to die
turned into the wish for peace.
I began to meditate in nature,
chanting the Heart Sutra
beneath open skies,
seeking solace
in trees, wind, and water.
Eventually, by chance,
I found a Buddhist practice center.
They practiced Nembutsu and the Heart Sutra
for two hours, four times a week.
Without knowing why,
I attended every practice.
Three months later—
for the first time in my life—
I slept peacefully.
I was eighteen.
And I realized
I had never truly slept before.
Day Three of Fasting
The light that saved me
Three years passed.
During that time,
I experienced the presence
of the Great Spirit of the Universe—
and received the unification of Great Love.
I learned how to rescue unsaved spirits,
and discovered that human beings
possess invisible bodies.
Those experiences—
they saved
my whole existence.
The “Homework” from the Great Spirit
Since then,the purpose of my life has changed,
to share the Love of the Great Spirit of the Universe with others.
That is the only reason I became a monk.
To systemise the spiritual method born from my own experience
and to share with others—
that was the homework I was given.
The boy who had endured endless suffering
devoted his entire life to fulfil that homework.
Its culmination is the series—
“ SATORI EXPLOSION : The Flame of HOPE ”